Classic and Contemporary Poetry
THE WASPS: THE TRIAL OF THE DOG, by ARISTOPHANES Poet's Biography First Line: Defendant? / here he is Last Line: Then am I laid low. Subject(s): Trials | ||||||||
PHILOCLEON. BDELYCLEON. DOG. SOSIAS PH. Defendant? BD. Here he is. PH. He'll get it hot. BD. Now hear the charge: -- A dog from Cydathen Accuses Labes of Aixone here Of being sole consumer of the cheese Of our Sicilian branch. He thus incurs The grafter's collar, snapt about his neck. PH. He'll die a dog's death, if we find him guilty. BD. Here Labes stands, defendant in this case. PH. What a bounder! look, he's got a burglar's mug, Thinking he'll fix me with that toothy grin. But where is he who prosecutes the charge, The dog from Cydathen? DOG. Auw-wuff, auw-wuff. BD. He stands. PH. But this is Labes' absolute double. BD. He's guaranteed to bark and lick the dishes. (to dog) Ssh, down sir! (to Sosias) You there, rise and bring your charge. PH. Give me a helping of the lentil-soup. SO. Gentlemen of the jury, you have listened Attentively to this the charge preferred Against the prisoner: -- In the fo'c'sle mess He did the dirty by the boys and me; For running off to a corner in the dark He lined his person with Sicilian cheese -- PH. Yes, that he did; at any rate, just now He broke his nasty cheesy breath on me, The beast. SO. I said 'please pass the cheese,' -- he wouldn't. BD. For god's sake, father, don't prejudge the case Until you've heard both sides. PH. But don't you see The matter's obvious? it speaks for itself. SO. And don't acquit him, either; of all dogs That man's the most unsociable at meals. And round and round he licked the platter clean, Scraping the cities even of their rind. PH. I'm even out of paste to mend my pots. SO. Then punish him. Two burglars of a feather Can't feed together on one currant bush. (earnestly, to Philocleon) I think my prosecution should not prove Useless; for if it does, from that day on I'll never bark again. PH. (really shocked) Perish the thought! The crimes the prosecution charged him with! The man's a mass of theft. (to his cock) Hey, Cockadoodle, Don't you agree? (to the court) You see, it's blinking 'yes'. BD. (to Philocleon) For a change you might stop being surly now And nasty, especially at defendants' heels. Why must you fix your teeth in them? (to Labes) Get up, And plead you case! Why are you dumb, sir? Speak! PH. He doesn't seem to have a word to say. BD. No, but the way it seems to be with him Reminds me of Thucydides' bad luck In court. He got paralysis of the jaws Suddenly. (to Labes) Well, stand down. I'll plead myself. (to the court) It is not easy, gentlemen, to speak Considering my client is a dog With a bad name; but speak for him I will. He's a good dog and scares the wolves away. PH. A burglar's what he is, one of the gang. BD. No, of contemporary dogs my client Ranks first, considering the flocks he can guard. PH. What is the use of that, if he eats cheese? BD. What use? to fight for you and guard the door, And good all round. And if he did take pickings, Be kind; he's had no Higher Education. PH. Tut, tut. What's this damned feeling making me soft? There's something coming over me, I'm yielding. BD. O I beseech you, father, pity him And do not drag him down! Where are his pups? Get up, you poor little things, and whimper there, Just supplicate and obsecrate and cry. PH. (overcome) Down, down; you've won; down, down, sir! BD. I'll get down. And yet that 'down, you've won' has up to date Diddled a lot of us -- but I'll get down. PH. O hell! It isn't good to gulp like this. To think I've cried away my purpose, just Because of being full of lentil-soup. BD. Is he Not Guilty then? PH. It's hard to say. BD. My dearest Pa, to better courses turn; Just put your ballot in the second box And shut your eyes, slip through, and vote Not Guilty. PH. Not me! I lack the Higher Education. BD. Well, hurry. I'll take you round the quickest way. PH. Is that box first, for 'Guilty'? BD. (ambiguously, his father pointing to the wrong box first) That's the first. PH. Well, there's my vote. BD. (to himself) Father's been taken in, Voting Not Guilty unawares. (to the court) Allow me To draw the votes. PH. How has the battle been? BD. The event will tell. Not Guilty, Labes! Father! Father! What is the matter? Water, ho! Be very brave now. PH. Tell me then just this, Is he in actual fact Not Guilty? BD. Yes. He is Not Guilty. PH. Then am I laid low. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE SUBCULTURE OF THE WRONGLY ACCUSED by THYLIAS MOSS AFFIRMATIVE ACTION BLUES (1993) by ELIZABETH ALEXANDER A LONG LINE OF DOCTORS by CAROLYN KIZER JACK KNUCKLES FALTER by KENNETH FEARING DORA VERSUS ROSE by HENRY AUSTIN DOBSON THE LAY OF MR. COLT by WILLIAM EDMONSTOUNE AYTOUN THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT by HARRY RANDOLPH BLYTHE THE CLOUDS: THE CLOUD CHORUS by ARISTOPHANES |
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