Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THIS CONTRACT STUFF, by MRS. L. M. DONELSON


Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THIS CONTRACT STUFF, by                    
First Line: Things round our house have changed, by gum
Last Line: I'd like to wring his neck.
Subject(s): Mothers


Things round our house have changed, by gum,
The beds are never made and the dishes never done,
My socks are full of holes and the clothes are in a stack
Since Maw's learned how to play this fool game "contract."

We used to have hot biscuits that would melt right in your mouth
Now Maw gets home in time to see that the cat's well let out,
And she woke me up the other night when I was dead as a board
And yelled at me to the top of her voice, "I've adequate trump support."

The only time I've ever heard Maw not say so very much
Is when she's in a huddle over this fool contract stuff.
Then all she says is words which I don't call as nice
Like "you're vulgarable" and "I've a bust" -- but maybe at that she's right.

Some ladies came in the other night for just a friendly stop
Which ended in a grand old fight over a card-table top.
And I see why men beat up their wives and this "Reno or Bust"
Those husbands feel the way I do -- It's this fool contract stuff.

We used to hear of some real great men like Washington and Gandhi
And Maw and I got an awful kick out of old Amos and Andy,
But the real great guy that has done more harm
Than a cyclone has, by heck --
Is this Culbertson guy and whoever he is
I'd like to wring his neck.





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