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CAPTAIN FRAZER'S NOSE, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: O! If ye're at dumbarton fair
Last Line: In memory o' frazer!
Subject(s): Festivals; Noses; Fairs; Pageants


O! if ye're at Dumbarton Fair,
Gang to the Castle when ye're there,
And see a sicht baith rich and rare --
The nose o' Captain Frazer!

Unless ye're blin' or unco glee't,
A mile awa' ye're sure to see't,
And nearer han' a man gangs wi't,
The nose o' Captain Frazer!

It's great in length, it's great in girth,
It's great in grief, it's great in mirth,
Tho' grown wi' years, 'twas great at birth --
The nose o' Captain Frazer!

I've heard volcanoes loudly roarin',
And Niagara's waters pourin',
But oh! gin ye had heard the snorin'
Frae the nose o' Captain Frazer!

To wauken sleepin' congregations,
Or rouse to battle sleepin' nations,
Gae wa' wi' preachin's and orations,
And try the nose o' Frazer!

Gif French invaders try to lan'
Upon our glorious British stran',
Fear nocht if ships are no at han',
But trust the nose o' Frazer!

Just crack that cannon owre the shore,
Weel ramm'd wi' snuff: then let it roar
Ae heilan' sneeze; and never more
They'll daur the nose o' Frazer!

If that great nose is ever deid,
To bury it ye dinna need;
Nae coffin made o' wood or lead
Could haud the nose o' Frazer!

But let it stan' itsel', alane,
Erect, like some big druid stane,
That a' the warld may see it's bane,
In memory o' Frazer!





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