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JUNKED BOILER, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: For weeks it was his depression detour, / this futuristic box on legs
Last Line: Thing whole and finish it, and give it to me
Subject(s): Paintings & Painters


For weeks it was his depression detour,
this futuristic box on legs,
two smokestack pipe fittings fixed on top
and glass cylinder gauge
still kelvinating, still in place, a junked machine
retrieved from some alleyway,
saved to keep him saying grace,
which he managed, just, with spray cans
and brushes -- corroded iron
into colored grids on which, each afternoon,
he ruined into significance
the previous day's despairs. "One day the sun,
among other things, went down,"
he lettered carefully on the top, then stopped,

painted out Celan as too grievous
for his own decline, first sign
that he was getting well. The hell of sickness,
he told me then, is intense
solipsism, the world shrunk to your nub of pain.
But that was never plain to me;
he always made me laugh. After each spasm,

an absurdity. How can they play the World Cup, he'd say,
Can't they see I'm in pain? Then back
to the boiler again, to paint the pinwheels
and chrysanthemum bursts
of Orion's belt in the southern sky, or
entomology's variously winged
and segmented deities, revised or simplified

or erased altogether, to tether him to the next
day's work and the next,
a Penelope to his own Odysseus. And when
at last he did arrive
back at himself, Zoloft-retrieved and capable,
he was able to see the whole
thing whole and finish it, and give it to me.






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