Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, HERE IS MUSIC: RESPICIT MEDICUS, by AUSTIN PHILIPS


Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

HERE IS MUSIC: RESPICIT MEDICUS, by                    
First Line: We two, that once were young, to-day
Last Line: Since first we looked, longed, loved ... Stood paramours.
Subject(s): Love - Marital; Old Age; Wedded Love; Marriage - Love


WE two, that once were young, to-day
Are old—we two that, long ago,
Looked, loved and, swept in Passion's sway,
Sought am'rous, secret, sweet essay,
Divine, delicious vertigo:
Sought, yes, and found, made rendezvous,
Kept tryst, to feel fulfilment bring,
In eager, glad foregathering,
Reward past all envisaging,
Union of body, mated soul,
Spiritual marriage, moments stole
And filched from frowning Fate's control,
Moods tender, moods fierce, turbulent,
Heights touched, depths plumb'd, emotions blent
In one supreme enfranchisement. ...
While many guessed, but no man knew,
What blessèd, un-bless'd bonds bound blissful me and you.

Shall I forget how, heart to heart
And limb to limb and soul to soul,
We lay, companion, counterpart
Each unto each in Love's last sport,
In what large way, with rich, rare, full
Contentment, it was ours to cull
Glad gifts he gave—Magician!
Once we had dared and, woman, man,
Had crossed his shining Rubicon. ...
Nay, I remember half a hundred things,
And, in remembering them, Remembrance brings
Yet half a happy hundred further; stings
Me, ageing, unimpassioned, to regret
That in such life as lingers I shall eat
No more such manna ... starving, taste those sweet
Moments of union, ne'er re-live sublime,
Ecstatic hours of our insatiate prime.

As in old hours I see you still,
Beauteous and burning, bruised beneath
Hot kisses, hungry to fulfil
Fair rites, draw back, recover breath,
Step from your frock, like silken sheath
Loosed and let fall with fond free will;
Provocative in déshabille,
Sweet and provoked voluptuary,
Toy with dear thought of things to be,
Stand smiling there a space, suspire,
Heap fresh-found fuel on fierce fire,
Drive me half mad with deep and high desire,
Find me aflame and stirred to far, profound
Recesses of my being, burn and bound
Forward, fling hungry, am'rous arms around
Your body, bear you bed-wards: you, intent
To seal our love in spacious self-abandonment.

I sense a space that strange, rare Peace
(Fright'ning in its fair beauty!) such
As stole upon us, brought release,
Respite and freedom, sweet surcease
From Passion's empire, grasp and clutch,
And lulled us lying on Love's couch. ...
I laze and linger, brood and bide,
Propp'd on my elbow, watch you hide
But now bared breasts, turn dignified,
Put on afresh that modesty
You doffed what time your frock fell free,
Watch your deft fingers make me tea,
See you, solicitous, approach a-new,
Sit on our bedside, swing your shapely shoe,
Frown, fearful, at the clock, make mournful moue,
Bid me arise, be gone; in woe, proclaim
I think on duty, work ... have forethought for your fame.

Though this was much to us, not all
It was. Though vital, yet small part,
Those stolen hours hebdomadal.
Since we, twin victims of harsh, swart
And kindred fortune, blown athwart
Each other's paths, poor serf, sad thrall,
Sudden found respite; starving, knew
Stay and soulagement; forthwith drew
Heart's ease and help, had long-sought due
Of Happiness; so came to see
Life in perspective, grateful be
For suffering which, insensibly,
Had drawn us two together, conjured, wrought
Undreamed-of miracles, had, potent, brought
To both what both, till then in vain had sought,
Which bade us twain behold and recognise,
At sight, our second self in wilder'd, wondering eyes.

Nay, from that first, fair moment, did
Not all things alter, fortune take
Fresh turn in two torn lives and thrid
New warp, new woof, stand swift to slake
Spiritual thirst, assuage long ache,
Old grief and, thus assuaging, break
Grim, griding spell, bid sympathy,
Mutual, be born, strike and set free
Some force enslaved in you and me?
So that a curtain seemed to lift
Sudden, a carking cloud to drift
Away, Life's sky show rent and rift,
Its Sun shine gracious, strong, thus gladden, warm
Sad, sorely shaken souls, enchant and charm,
Uplift, enlight, inspire, re-charge, re-arm
Them, and, disclosing pre-appointed way,
Let loose long-shackled pow'rs, transform sad night to day.

Even in things material
Love wrought, no less, strong miracle
Than in transcendent, spiritual
Things of the heart, the soul. His spell
Saw me storm fort, win citadel
Of what men call Success; in all
Affairs of Earth advance and find
Fortune—once harsh—fair-smiling, kind,
Gentle and gracious; kindle, tind
Deed and decision; balance bring
To every action; well-being
And wealth alike send blossoming. ...
And why, and how? Because, forthwith, release
From care I found, clear-sightedness, quick ease
Of thought so soon as I had stated case
To you, whose simple presence set me free
To choose with judgment, forethought, think with clarity.

Thus, then, I prospered; thus I found,
For the first time, at forty, true,
Full happiness, beyond the bound
Of hope and dream; because of you,
Resistless, scarce resisted, drew
Forward afresh, of cruel wound
Had healing and medicament;
To-wards my wife—improvident,
Venomous, acid, virulent,
Whose sadness, girlish discontent,
Poor fool! I once had hoped to heal,
So wed ... to know Life rock and reel,
And ruin near, and nearer, steal—
Show'd patience past my pow'rs before;
Through you, as master, king and conqueror
Of Fate I stood ... through you, who drunken boor,
In unwise hope, in gen'rous, noble youth,
Had ta'en, sweet soul, as spouse, from fond, romantic ruth.

Your son—grown mine—the brilliant boy
Who 'scaped his real father's curse,
Brought me, the son-less man, rich joy;
In his advance I came to nurse
New hopes, old dreams, place self and purse
At your disposal, find employ
For sides of me o'er-long unfed,
An-hunger'd and inhibited;
Thus, helping eager feet to tread
Their chosen path, seemed to fulfil
Myself, hand on my hard-won skill
Like lighted torch; to work my will
On Life itself; be fated not to die
But rather to endure vicariously,
Even at hour of physical death to be
Strong surgeon yet, whose art restricts, allays
Suff'ring, drives out despair, dow'rs men with worth-while days.

Ah, yes, I know that pedant priest
Or posturing pundit, swift to spin
Dishonest platitude, and dress'd
To kill, must long to mount in haste
His pulpit-steps and, safe within
Such fastness, urge we "live in sin" ...
But we know better, dear one, we
Who grasped and took strong way, nor see
Two homes destroyed, but faithful be
To chosen road, accept our curse,
Eschew complete escape, divorce
Forgo; sustain, support our coarse,
Unworthy partners, find unquestionably,
In regular irregularity
Of union, highest, best morality,
Which, e'en as in Him who lived sans stain, sans flaw,
Is, always must, e'er will be 'gainst the High Priest's Law.

If, as you say, I brought—still bring—
You happiness, then not in vain
Our twenty years foregathering,
Our common griefs, joint pleasuring,
Exultant moments, hours of pain,
Sweet, present peace, past passioning. ...
Friend of my heart, for all time true,
If aught of good on Earth I do,
Or e'er have done, through love of you
It comes, or came to being. Know,
Before I leave Life's puppet-show,
Cease on some morn or midnight, go
Grave-ward, my debt to your munificence
Of loving aid is too profound, immense
For right expression, fitting recompense. ...
Just this: what good lurks in me was, stays yours
Since first we looked, longed, loved ... stood paramours.





Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!


Other Poems of Interest...
Home: PoetryExplorer.net